I'm Still Here

I haven't gone anywhere. I am still checkin in on my blog and others as well. There's been some real heavy things going on in my personal life and I did not want my blog to turn into a pity party for poor old me. I felt my blog was drifting away from what its purpose and intent was when I started my journey on May 2nd. It started as documenting my struggles to loss weight and find peace TO here are all the things going wrong with my life.

I want to be an inspiration for weight loss and maintaining. I know our personal lives are a part of it but more of my focus for this blog needs to be on the weight aspect of my life.

I wish much strength to my weight loss people out there and I will be back soon to blog daily on my maintaining... Sometime early December I think I will be back blogging everyday.

ONWARD!!!

Before and After

I usually don't post on the weekends (I posted this same post late Friday Night) so here are my pics...

My Word is My Bond - Weight 190

Before and After…

BACK AT IT!!! 192 Within WW - Matter over Mind

Matter over Mind.
That is the topic today. I was so shocked to see my weight at 192. I am ashamed to say all the bad things I have shoved down my pie hole the past couple weeks. YES – pizza rolls from pizza hut were one of the things. So many times we say mind over matter. We say the mind can concur the body if you really try. Well I would like to give the body some credit here. My mind has been a bit weak recently and my body has held up its side of the deal. My body found a way to keep the metabolism strong, breath strong (working out was not that difficult this morning), and tone strong. Big ups to my body for keeping things together while my mind was off vacationing somewhere!!!
So, 192, really that means you guys will see me (pictures) very soon. It is even possible you will see me tomorrow but certainly some time next week.
ONWARD – hail to the body – ONWARD!!!

Wednesday – No workout

Hard to say that right now… Reason being I got up at 4:30am, ate breakfast, got my workout cloths on, put my water bottles together, started going through my list… There were some items that were missing and that’s all I am going to say about that right now. I was angry and decided to go back to bed for a little while. Just when I thought I was ready to get started this happens. Well to be honest I don’t have that feeling of "just forget it all then" rather I am irritated that I always seem to have EXTRA hurdles in my life. I never understood why I have been so lucky to get other peoples share of them as well - but I guess that is my path. Tomorrow I will get back on the horse and try it again. I took in my lunch to work today so my eating is getting off on the right foot at least. Not a complete failure of a start but routinely irritating I must say…

Not feeling funny - I will post two links next week!

Monday – Wednesday – Friday

These will be my workout days so I will actually start getting back into the gym tomorrow. I got a ton of sleep last night and feel pretty good. I have been spending a good amount of time working on my design for my invention so I feel good about that too. The thing I need to focus on right now is working out and eating right. Time to stop talking about it…
ONWARD!!!

I continue to learn about myself…

Tomorrow is the day that I will get my butt back into gear and start dealing with my eating habits. Also I am going to workout tomorrow and Thursday. My goal here is to start off working out three day a week and get into a groove I can maintain.

All of the different blogs that I follow and all the posts that I have read over the past two weeks have been insightful. I took time away from my blog to really get a sense for what eating and maintaining really means. People were fired up about posting greasy food, wanting comfort food, and feeling stuck. Well I believe everyone has their own unique problems and unique way of handling them. One thing we have to be careful about is letting others opinions and negative energy affect our opinions and our energy.

There are so many things I still need to accomplish in life and if I cannot get this weight thing stabilized I fear it will get in the way of my focus on other things. If I don’t have a clear focus on something chances are it will not get done. This I know about myself. I need to dedicate myself and have a clear focus on big goals.

One last thing – I will be posting my before and after pictures once I get back down to my goal weight of 190 pounds. I do not know where I am at right now but I would guess I am around 197/198 right now. Tomorrow morning I will report out how far I have to go to get back down to 190. It should be interesting this next couple weeks - at least you all have a countdown now and are not left open ended.

Today is the day – My Before and After Pictures – See below.

I saw this picture of the sun and it spoke to me a bit. There are so many things to be happy about. I need to relax a bit, let my mind go, and see the beauty of life!!!

Here are my Before and After pictures…

O.K. so you all must have forgot this was Funny Link Wednesday…

This tailgate was one to forget

This weekend was not what I wanted it to be. A lot of people get senselessly caught up in the back and forth about their schools. For me it goes way beyond what happens on the field or court. I must admit it is tough watching our football and basketball programs struggle like they are. This is not what I remember when I was a student and in school. This must really suck for the students these days.

For me Saturday was just a bad day all around. From the time I got to the tailgate at about 7:30am until I left at 10:00pm nothing was right and every second seemed to bring another stressful thing. I could go on and on about what happened but in a nutshell the group I have been tailgating with for the past 4 years – specifically two guys – showed their true colors to me Saturday in shocking form. I go to the tailgate to get away from my life and the stress it brings but they brought that stress to the tailgate and I honestly don't think things will ever be the same again. It bothers me more that I can express because a phase in my life may be coming to an end and I don’t know what comes next. Tailgating won't be the same anymore and that hurts. Not sure if I will be going anymore.

They say nothing lasts for ever - O.K. that is stating the obvious - but I do believe that good things never last as long as you would like them to. The challenge is how do we reinvent ourselves when certain periods in our life come to an end. What's Next – I guess. For me I don’t know if tailgating has come to an – it certainly might soon. Saturday let me know that this period will not last as long as I wanted it to and regardless if it is over now or after this year or after next year – there is a change coming. Don’t know when or how but the process has started. Its unfortunate – I wanted this feeling to last longer – I will have to find a way to reinvent the tailgate somehow…

NO Workout - No Weigh in

Feeling sort of Bla Bla today. No Workout as I don't know where I am weight wise right now. The weekend should be fun. Big game Mich vs Mich State. Should be a good game. GO BLUE!!!

NO workout – No Weigh in

I was all set to go workout this morning and managed to let the "I don’t wannas" get the best of me this morning. One day of rest is still good. I will get my but to the gym tomorrow morning. After all I do have tailgating this weekend.
I would like to report out to everyone that the wife and I had an awesome heart to heart last night. I left the conversation with more optimism than EVER in the past. She is starting to understand where she is coming up short and has committed to work hard on us. I have never heard her talk like that maybe ever. I was able to open my eyes a bit bigger and tell her some things that I realized…

- My focus on us was way over the top and I needed to dial it down a bit.

- I could not make her 100% happy my role is 50-75% she needs her own things and own time to get to 100%

- The "past" was bothering me more than I realized and need to work on letting it stay there

- She has a natural flirty personality and this bothered me more than I realized

After our talk she took responsibility for everything I mentioned that was bothering me and said we will make it through all this. I have a great outlook on the two of us right now and my focus is going to be heavily on me and gaining the financial stability I need right now. My weight is great right now. At some point I will get my focus back on the WW but I will not stop tracking it. I want to keep my current weight right there in front of my eyes.
ONWARD!!! ONWARD!!! ONWARD!!!

194 – Outside WW

194 – I have no idea what that means. I am up one pound from yesterday. The only place I really feel it is in my stomach area. I know that my food intake is causing the fluctuations so I will not dwell on that any longer. Yoda, who is in one of my pictures on my blog, said "You do or you do not there is no try " so on that note I will not talk about food control again until I get to the point where I am at "Do" because right now I am "Do Not".
I had a conversation with the wife Sunday, which sparked my Monday Blog post, and now it appears that as the days go by she is doing little things. Taking baby steps is better than nothing so I am grateful. I think the problem is that all of my focus was put on her and us during our separated time period and during the first few months of trying to repair things – so I have not been able to get out of that all out focus on her and us. I absolutely need to for my sanity. I placed other things in my life and need to focus more on them but it is so hard. I feel our relationship is so fragile that if I take my focus off of it, things will go downhill. It is probably not this way but my mind keeps it there. If things continue to progress as they are, it will make it easier to take my focus off of us a little.
ONWARD!
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LINK
BABY ROCKER
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193 – Outside WW

So I made it to the gym this morning. I love how I feel after working out. What a feeling. However, I never had such a battle inside of me like I did over the past 5 hours. Even before the alarm went off at 4:45 I was already telling myself I was not getting up to go work out. At 3:30 I woke up and really did not go back to sleep after that. In the end I fought off all the I don’t wannas and feeling sorry for myself and made it in. The workout was difficult. I took some days off from working out so it was hard to pick right back up where I left off. I do not take a step back when I take some time off. I always keep my reps, weight, and times exactly where I was the last time. If forces me to realize that I have lost a step and need to have consistency.

I was surprised to see the scale at 193 today. I was sure I was around 196 or 197 considering all the late night eating and drinks I have had over the past week of rest. I guess it will take more than a week of feeling sorry for myself to self destruct. I don’t know what the next few weeks will hold. All I know is that I need to focus on the big picture and fix what is wrong with my eating habits, self happiness (different from self esteem I think I have plenty of that), and financial spending/saving habits.

I would like to wish Patrick sustained energy on his journey – you continue to be an inspiration with your day to day activities, Rapunzel the strength to get through a few more days at which point things will come natural, and Dawn energy for getting over some life issues and feeling a bit worn the past week. ONWARD PEOPLE!

Day six of rest

Now in my sixth day. I believe i will get back to workouts tomorrow morning. The weekend was a lazy one. Truly lazy. I went three/four months 4:45am to 12:00 midnight 5/6 days a week to get where I am today. I know I cannot keep that up. I want to find a comfort zone with family and workouts. Wish me luck and support people - the next couple weeks will be critical for me.

Day three of my rest

I am now in my day three of my rest. I would guess that I am about 195/6 right now. It is good that there is no tailgating this weekend – that will certainly help. I will avoid the 1000 fat grams and 30,000 calories from one single tailgate. I am in a bit of a rut right now and I have very little desire or motivation at this point to stay focused on my weight and eating. I believe there is more going on here.
I started writing about what I thought was bothering me and before I knew it I was two full pages into it… Long story short – my step daughter and my place in my wife's hierarchy of importance is causing me pain and stress right now. There seems to be a direct correlation between my happiness and what is going on with my wife and step daughter. Don't get me wrong – things are better than they have maybe ever been with my wife – but I continue to struggle with my place in her life. I am last on her list – right wrong or indifferent that is just the way it is. It does not help that we do not have stress free time hanging out just the two of us. This REALLY bothers me.
If I don’t find something to take my mind off of her a bit I am going to drive myself crazy. I thought that would be my business inventions, stocks, poker, and fitness but here I am… now in a rut.
I blogged to dawn recently that solutions are important not focusing on the problems. I truly believe this and solutions to this problem have not surfaced. Finding solutions continue to cause stress for me. Solutions – I guess I need to think a little harder.

More of the same

I took another day off because of more of the same from yesterday... not good.
I had some doctor appointments' yesterday and today (routine stuff) but that is no excuse.
Ummm not sure what is going on with me. I will need to do some thinking...

Simple and easy today.

I did not work out this morning mostly in part to feeling lazy after a couple beverages last night. The rest feels good but it feels strange not having that afterworkout buzz right now. Anyway – it appears my friend Rapunzel is struggling a bit to find what works with food intake. The only reason why it does not appear to affect me right now is because I work out like a mad man. At some point I will need to deal with it head on. Rapunzel good luck and find what works for you! ONWARD!

Enjoy the funny! Again - please note that all comments and other videos on the page I have not endorsed. Sometimes people cannot keep it clean when commenting.

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FUNNY LINK

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191 – Outside old WW – Inside Original WW

If you remember I started off saying that my WW was going to be 188 to 192 which now seems to be more realistic. I am not sure how I got down to 186 before… I think it was making me feel weak and sick. I have held off as long as I could but I think my WW needs to be 188 to 192. I thought for a while that if I changed it, it would mean that I have been defeated. I don’t see it that way anymore - today was key in coming to that conclusion. I ate well yesterday and kept to all of my rules. I had a good workout yesterday and still I maintained a weight of 191. In the past I certainly would have lost a pound given the previous 24 hours of eating and working out. I feel comfortable changing it so it is done.

So I want to share with everyone a piece of my morning routine. Everyday I get up between 4:45 and 5:00am to begin my daily journey. I eat breakfast and then look through my trusty list (every morning) to make sure I have not forgot anything… basically this list is comprised of things I have forgotten:

Dress shoes – yeah that was a fun day wearing my gym shoes with slacks

Phones – I have a personal and work phone. My personal phone is my iphone and it holds the music I listen to in the morning so forgetting this is TERRIBLE. Forgetting the work phone makes my day impossible to get through.

Wallet – this contains my work badge so I can't get in the gates at work if I forget this. I used to forget it and dealing with security is irritating.

Money – I need a little cash on hand each day

Rings – this used to mean wedding and school, then went to just school, and soon it will mean both again : )

Chap Lip – this is chap-stick. My lips get dry a lot. I call it chap lip because of a reality show one time…

Dress Shirt – yeah that was fun having to go shopping at Meijer's at 7:30 in the morning with just a jacket on and no shirt. Sure am glad I had a jacket to wear… the sweaty t-shirt would have been awful if I had to wear it shopping. Oh yeah Meijers has great dress shirts - LOL

Head phones – I need these to listen to my music so forgetting them makes the workout harder. I need something to take my mind off the pain and monotony.

Water Bottle – ummm yeah - I will pass out if I don’t hydrate right after working out.

Towel – this was fun drying myself off with the one little spot on my workout shirt that was not soiled…

Underwear – Anyone who has seen Seinfeld will laugh because I had to go commando for an entire day at work. I did not have time to go to Meijers to get a pair. So, I kept it to myself and did not let anyone know… it was actually fun – I considered doing it full time : )

Laptop – Yeah – no work will get done without this – on that day I actually had to go back home to get it.

Lunch – not so critical but I try not to spend a lot of money on lunches it can get expensive.

This was a look into my morning – hope you had fun!

ONWARD!

191 – outside WW

I am where I thought I would be so no mad man workout today :)

Monday mornings after a tailgating weekend are the hardest to battle through. I was still feeling tired and resting off the weekend and really did not want to get up. Hard to deal with Mondays. BUT, if I successfully battle through them it makes the whole week more enjoyable. Starting off the right way carries on through the week!!!

ONWARD!

190 within WW

190… 190… what an interesting number. The same number that I spent three hard months obtaining is the same number that angered me this morning. Here is why; I dropped weight everyday this week until today where I picked up a pound. After that pound I was 190. I looked at the scale and actually got mad. I stepped off and weighed myself again. Yes 190. I was furious. This sparked the most intense workout I have ever had. I had personal bests for total calories burned on the elliptical and I increased the weight resistance on my ab, nautilus, and free weight sets. Truly a MAD MAN workout today.
WOW. I really picked up a pound and now I weigh 190. But I should be happy that I am at 190 right? This is the weight I strived for all this time. What does this mean? It means that the excessive business lunch I ate, along with the excessive dinner I ate, and finally the excessive snack I ate at 9:30pm all added up to one more pound on the books. Maybe I figured since I have been working out like a mad man this week that I would be O.K. WRONG. I am really struggling with finding my eating groove and until that happens, my weight will continue to fluctuate. At this point I do not have the luxury to take ANY days off from working out like a mad man. I would really enjoy if I could sleep in an additional 2 hours before work. That is the time commitment I need to workout. 2 whole hours. It would be nice to be able to take that two hours as sleep but right now there is no way.


Looks like I will keep the funny videos coming and I will post them on Wednesdays.


O.K. So, I will commit to everyone right now that when the time comes (which is not that far away) I will post a couple pictures and a vlog of me. I don't think I will mesh with what you may expect… it will be interesting. As far as Patrick – he could not have been any more "right on" with what I expected. I think a large part of that (no pun intended) is that I have seen pictures of him to ground my opinions.


I have not spoken about the wife in a while. I guess that is because things are going so well with us. I should post positive comments of her. So yesterday at my sons soccer game she tells me that one of her co-workers commented that she has a great man and is so nice. He is such a good thing. This statement from the coworker was brewing for a while. She has been around me at my wife's job and tailgating. But, yesterday is why it came out. My wife locked herself out of the house and I drove 45 miles (one way) to bring her a key so she could get back in the house. I had to move some things around at work so I could do it. So the wife told me the comment was made and her response to her coworker was, "yes I know. I really know." I did not know what to say but just smiled.


O.K. people – ONWARD!

189 – Within WW

I viewed Patrick's vlog and thought I may do this at some point. Really introduce you all to me… Maybe.
O.K. so tailgate weekend is coming and I have dropped enough pounds to feel PERFECT with my weight loss transgressions.
I thought that I wanted to add something to my blog because the "guessing pics" and vlog that Patrick has seem to be a hit. For me I love to see funny video clips. For me laughing is some of the best medicine. So I think I will post funny clips either Thursday or Friday of each week.
PLEASE note that you may see other videos in the list along the margins but I do not endorse any video that does not pop right up when you click on the link I provide.
If you like these please let me know I will stop if it is not taken well.
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LINK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dd7q2dT-ls&feature=related
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190 – inside WW

So now I can see how these next couple months will go and it is just about what I expected. I will need to workout everyday if I am going to continue going to tailgates and not count calories and fat grams while I am there (I still try and stay away from high fructose corn syrup the best I can). I spent a little over three months working out everyday to lose weight it appears I will need to workout everyday during tailgate season to maintain. That does not sound all that bad. It is the sacrifice I will need to make to enjoy the tailgates as I like to enjoy them.
I am focused on one of my inventions now and you will see a lot of that MAIZE color in my business tracking chart. It feels good to "DO" something else. I am a father, husband, engineer, tailgater, weight loss story/blogger, and now I have added inventor to that mix. It gives me more of a confident feeling that I am using my time on this earth a little better than in the past. I want to go to sleep and NOT think I have wasted the time the Lord has given me.
ONWARD my weight loss blogging people ONWARD!

192 outside WW

Another good start to a good day. As you may have noticed I do not have all zeros any longer and there is more time spent on my business ideas. As I have stated before my fuel for life award winners continue to keep me focused for the time being and it feels good. I am not sure where I will be after these 90 days – inside the WW outside the WW – but what I do know is that after it is all done I will have a new perspective on where I think my life should go for the long haul.

As I was working out this morning I reached a point where I wanted to stop on the elliptical and just hit the showers. There was no way I was going to do that so I kicked the sensors in high gear to mentally log everything I was feeling and thinking. Self vs. self is the essence of life really. At that very moment I could let my physical pain and metal pain stop the workout and convince myself that some workout was better than none. I kept saying to myself how can you stop? How can you come all this way (this morning), waking up so early, battling through the "I am tired I need some more rest", and starting my workout on the elliptical just to end this effort prematurely? The feeling of defeat will feel much worse than the mental and physical pain of the workout.

People ask me all the time, "How did you do it" and I tell them the same answer; "It's simple, eat less, eat healthy, drink lots of water, and workout". Finally someone said to me – "well those are just words - how did you really do it"? My answer to that was also simple – every moment of every day you will need to fight yourself. Some battles you will win others you will lose. The key is to ALWAYS fight and ALWAYS expect to win each battle. Each time you go to the refrigerator, each time you go out to eat, each time you walk past the treadmill, each time you hit the snooze button, each time you pick up an alcoholic beverage, each time you find yourself doing something that does not mesh with your health goals you will need to go into battle. Literally talk to yourself either inside your head or out loud. Fight for yourself each and every time. The more you fight the stronger you will be.

ONWARD!

194 Outside WW

Rock and Glass – Water and Oil – Gas and sparks… None of these really go together - neither does tailgating and weight loss/sustaining weight. I am in for the fight of my life. I will need to focus and work harder than ever to keep my focus on first getting back into my weight window and second staying there for the next two months of tailgating. I find it humbling (not frustrating) continuing to document all the zeros on my charts and seeing the weight loss chart outside my WW. Is making me take a long look at myself…
Now that I have some fuel from my two favorite bloggers on the net this week started off pretty well. I made it to the workout spot and had a FULL workout. Feels good. This week should be different with my focus – stay tuned! ONWARD!

MISUNDERSTOOD AND ADMIRED - ???

MISUNDERSTOOD-AND-ADMIRED???
So what is this name "Misunderstood-and-admired" all about anyway? I thought by now I would have discussed this in one of my posts. Maybe it is because no one has asked about it but I think it is truly because I was just not ready. You see this name is very important to who I am and how I operate out in the world.
Most people who come into contact with me leave with different opinions about me. I don't believe I interact with any two people the same. However, I know that I am a genuine person and I am that person inside and out. You see everyone is so uniquely different that I feel it is impossible to treat everyone the same way. I interact with folks differently because I have so much inside of me that can relate to everyone out there. To learn the most about any one person that comes into contact with me I have to make them feel like I know where they are coming from or else I will NOT get a genuine response from that person. I have learned a great deal about life interacting with the people I meet. Having said all that; I am not a social person, I do not have a ton of friends, I don't hang out all the time, and I don't enjoy crowds where I am expected to talk to everyone there. This is why I am misunderstood because, who in the world loves to learn from people and lives for those experiences but is not a social person. Who loves to laugh and joke with a bunch of folks but does not like crowds (like tailgating) where the expectation is to talk to everyone.


Misunderstood
You see I have always been misunderstood in life because people want to put everyone in a box and label them. I fit no molds. I can't tell you how many times people are shocked when I tell them I am a father of 4 (3 adore me and 1… well… still working on that...) . People just can’t accept the fact that someone at times can seem so driven, cold, hard, angry, and frustrated but has kids that just adore him. They are equally shocked when I tell people I work as an engineer (I am decent one by the way). They just can't understand how a person so passionate, caring, unique, and artistic could be an engineer. My mother still to this day gives me this look of "you are messing up" which I have seen so many times in my life. She still cannot accept that I am just not like anyone else living and do things differently than most people.


Admired
For all the reasons I listed above (and others) – driven, cold, hard, angry, frustrated, passionate, caring, unique, dependable, and artistic I am admired because I have these qualities. What you must understand here is that every trait I listed is not admired by everyone. Certain traits are beloved by some but when they see the other traits they are confused and misunderstand who I really am. I am admired for my commitment to my responsibilities and keeping my word. Here is something I say to myself all the time and I live by it, "Do everything possible to do what you say you are going to do. And, if you don’t then hold yourself accountable AS SOON AS POSSIBLE and try to make up for it". But, when I hold other people to that same axiom they often get offended, angry, and lash out. They just can't understand why I would put them on the spot like that. People just don't walk around putting others on the spot. I hold myself accountable to the same standard that I hold other people to and for that I rub people the wrong way a lot.


Moving Forward
So how can I be misunderstood and admired all at the same time… what has been expressed to me the most is that people admire my dedication, passion, and caring but misunderstood for those same reasons – OVER THE TOP is a comment I frequently get. It's a hard life and I often get weary. On occasion I have to take a couple days off from interacting with folks to get my metal strength back. I have been told all along that I need to change things about me but at this point in life I am who I am and that is all there is to it. If you can take something away from anything I have said then I have done what I set out to do. Everyone can be a positive force in this world. My heart aches when I hear of destruction and death around the world. Someone who I admire and had the same conflict in his life (being misunderstood and admired) once said, "If you can't find something to live for then you best' find something to die for". What I took from this is that if you can't find something to live for or some positive cause to die for, then inside you are already dead. Just take a look around – you don't have to look far to see what kind of destruction people are capable of when they are dead inside.


Closing:
Inside all of us there is an energy that can be either positive or negative. What's your energy? What is the energy of the people you associate with? What kind of energy are you giving off and receiving?
Energy is a force that can build and destroy – choose to build a stronger, positive world for you and those who may come after.

New Award Recipients

I'm not sure if I am supposed to create a blogger award and pass it along – but that is exactly what I am going to do. I have had an extremely hard start in pursuing my new phase of goals. This past couple weeks have seen eating and drinking the likes of which I have not had since before May 2^nd (The start of my 50 pounds and a new life). I have not started working on my financial goals which is very important to me and family right now. That has bummed me out quite a bit. In the face of all that – there are two bloggers that need to get attention. The reality is that most if not all of you are already aware of them but need to know something that I have seen recently. Patrick and Rapunzel are two bloggers that I had as friends from the beginning and at first they were the only two responding to anything I wrote. Now I find myself feeding off their positive energy. They have found a rhythm and a groove. They are following the beat of their life which is grounded in family, friends, and a focus that I have not seen from either of them since I started blogging on May 2^nd. Just when I was ready to really start to slide backwards, these two bloggers and their positive inner energies have FUELED my empty tank. I created this "Fuel For Life" award because I wanted to honor two bloggers that have inspired me and have fueled my tank enough to stop the backwards slide and try to regain my focus on things. Thank you.

Fuel For Life Award

This award is granted to bloggers who have given someone fuel for strength so they can move onward.
I hereby grant the following bloggers the Fuel For Life Award:
Patrick
Rapunzel
Responsibilities:
1. List three things that you are happy about at this very moment
2. List three things that played a big part in your current focus on weight loss and inner growth
3. Pass this award on to a blogger that you feel really deserves it

190 – Inside WW

I'm starting to find it hard to stick to my commitments right now. I am getting up in the morning and working out but eating and all the other items for some reason are on hold. I have tried to dig deep inside me to figure out why. I have come up with a couple things. I know myself pretty well and I have decided just simply to not do it yet. Why I'm not quite sure. I have plenty of energy and desire to eat right and get my financial goals moving but the motivation is not there. I am forcing myself to look at those zeros on the charts every day and it is keeping me focused on finding that motivation to get started. I had a pretty good excuse last week (excuses are like…) but what about this week? No pretty good excuses this week.
I have told other bloggers to find that motivation anywhere you can and act on it. Time to take my own advice and find that motivation and BOTTLE it so I can have a drink of that goodness every morning when I wake up! ONWARD!

191 – Outside WW

I have struggled to get out of the blocks for the first week here… A big contributor to this has been something I have not blogged about all last week. I guess I did not realize how much it monopolized my life over the past week. What I was doing was putting together the family video for our vacation. Now if you took a look at my Rocky video I posted a little while ago you will see that I like to dibble and dabble in video production. However, this video was an all out monumental effort. There were seriously about 16 hours of video footage and 500 pictures to go through. I cut down all the video footage to a manageable amount and selected the right pictures for the movie. I was getting about 3 hours a sleep a night and just did not realize how late I was staying up. My wife finally pointed out to me on Thursday that I was acting like an idiot around the house with her and the kids because I was just not getting any sleep. The reason for the big effort was that my mother was supposed to come to my house on Saturday and look at the family vacation video. She was really looking forward to it because we went to the same camping spot that she used to take me and my siblings to. My mother decided to cancel her trip and I decided not to stop the video production but move forward. We had a family viewing of the finished product on Saturday night. We made a big production out of the whole thing… taking a video of a red carpet interview of all the vacation participants (that was fun), popcorn, candy, and sparkling juice for all. It turned out really good. So, now as I think back I can see why I did not focus on any of my personal goals last week. So now I can get down to business. ONWARD!

190 – Within WW

This 190 is within the WW but is only there because I worked out like a mad man yesterday and followed it up with a bad eating evening. This is going to be a struggle. Thanks guys for the helpful pointers yesterday. It will be a day to day struggle to maintain. I think as time goes by it will get better but for now I have to focus. The financial goals I will take a look at it all on Monday and re-evaluate where my efforts will be. Busy day today - so I will wish everyone a positive day and get to it.

ONWARD!

191 – Outside my WW (Weight Window)

Yesterday I was feeling under the weather for the first time in a long time. I did not go to work and I did not blog either. It felt strange to spend an entire weekday without checking in on my blog folks and posting something myself.
As you can see I am outside my WW. I am starting to understand how difficult this is going to be. I simply cannot keep up the workouts as they have been for the past three months. That being said I will need to watch what I eat a lot closer now. This effort is going to take a whole different kind of commitment that I have not prepared myself for. I have to spend some time thinking about how I am going to go about this because the track I am on is NOT going to work. I would like to open the floor to comments about sustaining my weight.
As far as the Business and RBD (Reading and Business Development) I am just not committed to that effort right now. I believe I have not changed my thinking yet… I have the desire right now but I have not changed my thinking on what it means to me. I have some work to do here. It is always good to be honest with yourself but today I am down in the dumps a bit because I have not committed myself to sustaining my weight, reading, and developing business ideas. My new 90 day effort has started off poor.
I have just one word for myself… ONWARD!

189 Pounds – Weight Window Maintained!

To all, I hope you had a restful Holiday. For me it was waaaaay to much tailgate food. I was surprised to see 189 pounds pre workout this morning. I ate like a mad man and drank like a fish at the tailgate. However, I did workout like a madman on Friday and this morning so I should not be surprised at my weight status.
So, today is day two of my new effort and I really did not get off on a good foot. Because I did not work yesterday I did not keep to my routine of working out in the morning and eating on a regular schedule (again – there is a lesson to be learned there). I did not do any reading or business development (BD) yesterday and I don’t feel very good about that. I am happy that I am starting my new weight goal right in the 5 pound window I want to be.
To all my weight loss people I will tell you this today – make today a day you can be proud of and smile when you hit the pillow to sleep tonight!

190 pre workout – 187 post workout… Just in time to!

I am about to enter the tailgate season for Michigan Football. I try and make it to all home games for tailgating. It gets to be a strain with the driving, parking, and late nights but it is part of who I am and this time of year is always my favorite. I said "Just in time" because anyone who has ever done ANY tailgating in their life knows there are temptations EVERYWHERE to have a bad food/drink day. The way I take it is that I will have my fun but if I don’t take Monday and Tuesday seriously in the gym and eating I will have to change the way I tailgate and that will NOT be fun. I should have put tailgating on my list of ten and I will change it now… O.K. done. Can you tell what I changed???

RANPUNZEL –Hope all is well!

193 – Back on the right track!

This morning I had a good workout and last night I ate sensible. Simple day yesterday - I will keep this post the same. Have a great Friday-eve!!!

The Humbling Scale…

The scale put me in my place this morning. Let the truth be told. I weighed in at 195 which means over the past week I have picked up 9 pounds. Even if we decide to try and lie to ourselves or even the world, the scale will never do the same. It will tell us exactly what our minds are focusing on and be brutally honest with us. The scale told me this morning that even though you have come so far you still have a long way to go. You cannot rely solely on aggressive workouts to keep your weight down. You will need to completely change the way you think about food. There is no "reward" food, there is no "just for tonight" food. There is only the food you eat. You eat four meals a day and need to make sure that you stay focused on the health content of that food. If you choose to eat something unhealthy then there must be checks and balances that forces you to make up for that with the next meal (or meals) – NOT working it off the next morning. THAT can be a very slippery slope. So in closing I have learned a lot about myself. I have a lot of work to do with getting my eating habits in line with maintaining my weight goal of 185-190 pounds. ONWARD!

I have received my first award - thanks Patrick!

Ten things I like (in no particular order)
1. That feeling of my body hurting so good after a workout
2. Michigan Football Tailgating
3. Watching Sports (Most all of them)
4. Eating at a new Restaurant
5. Playing/spending time with my kids
6. Intimate time with my wife
7. Focusing on a goal and working hard to achieve it
8. Playing Basketball
9. Playing/Watching Poker
10. Vacations – resting on a beach with my eyes closed.


Pass on to one blogger (do not want to minimize the award)
Rapunzel

The Good – The Bad – and the Beautiful

The Good;
I have been focusing on the task at hand come Monday morning. It will not be easy I know this. It will take a different level of commitment to keep the weight and put in the time researching and developing my dreams. It is constantly on my mind so I know I will be just fine come Monday morning.

The Bad;
Since I reached my goals I have really pulled back on the throttle as it pertains to my workouts and eating habits. I have been snaking a lot and I am worried once I get my butt back on the scale Monday morning. I am eating really unhealthy things. I think I am splurging a bit as a reward but it has gone out of control at this point. I will need to stop the bleeding now. I can't wait until Monday to get my focus back. I also drank a bit over the past week and this has added to my snacking and laziness with trying to get up at 5:00am to go workout. Time to refocus a bit and make sure I get my butt to the gym Tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday.

The Beautiful;
I almost passed out in my kitchen yesterday around 5:55pm. The wife came home with a couple groceries and started to put them away. I noticed something sparkling as she was putting the groceries away… I grabbed her arm and low and behold the wedding ring is back on her finger. I almost passed out. I asked her when she put it back on and she said, "This morning". It sure did not take me long to see it and I honestly have NOT been looking at her hand for the past year of my life. At that moment I felt amazing but troubled all at the same time. You see, I tossed my ring out on the interstate when I was headed to the storage unit to pack away the last of my things. It was only suppose to be a temporary ring so I only spent 400 bucks on it. Even still, I sure wish I had it to be able to put on at that very moment. When I tossed it I felt there was no way she would ever be back in my life like that and I wanted nothing to do with that type of memory. I told her, about me tossing the ring, a couple weeks ago and she had a look of sorrow on her face. I told her that the whole situation crushed me and I wanted nothing to do with those memories. I guess I am on the hook now to get another one – huh?

The week in limbo...

So this is the week I am preparing myself for the next 90 days of my journey. I have subscribed to the wall street journal and started up my E-Trade account. That is all I need at this point in time (no USA today paper).
I let the, I don’t wannas, get to me this morning and did not get up at 5:00am to work out (re set the alarm). I will be stronger the rest of this week (positive thinking).
So I was tagged and here are my answers…


1. What is the biggest change you've made that's helped you succeed in your weight loss efforts?
Positive thinking along with slowing way down on drinking alcohol. Drinking opened the door to late night snaking and laziness in the mornings which would make it hard to go workout at 5:00am.

2. What's your toughest temptation?
Fast Food – the hardest was Pizza Rolls from Pizza Hut.

3. What program are you following? (WW, South Beach, etc)
The program called "your mind". It is the most powerful supercomputer ever created.

4. Who has been your biggest fan and supporter?
Patrick and Rapunzel who buy the way don’t know my name or really anything about my actual self. As time goes by though I do believe they are starting to know me pretty well.

5. Any naysayers who've attempted to sabotage your efforts?
One blogger and if you are reading you know who you are. Other than that no one from the Blog world or at home was into sabotage. No support I think is different than actual sabotage.

6. Do you have a favorite "legal" food that helps keep you on track?
The cereal - Raisin Bran Crunch!!!

7. How do you see your life changing once you reach goal?
Now that I have reached my goal – It is changing because I am bringing that determination and drive to preparing for my financial security and family stability.

8. What's your dream outfit once you get to goal? You know we all have one! :)
It's really simple – wearing only swim trunks at beaches and water parks and loving the way I feel!

59 Total Pounds Lost – WOW.

Needless to say I was extremely surprised to see the scale read out at 186 before my workout this morning. Here is why I was surprised;

1. I have not worked out since Last Thursday
2. I had lots of fried food on my vacation, smores at campfire time, Fudge, One and I repeat only ONE Big Mac from McDonalds, and for my final reward for reaching my goals… PIZZA ROLLS FROM PIZZA HUT. Everything was a bit of a letdown except of course the PIZZA ROLLS FROM PIZZA HUT!!!
3. Every night I had a late night snack for the past 6 days.

So again I was shocked and had to calibrate the scale with an 85 pound weight. Yup it weighed 85. WOW.
So considering this I am going to change my sustained weight target window to 185-190.
So what's next for Misunderstoodandadmired…? Well here is the next 90 day Journey that I will embark upon soon. I will have three main goals that I will track over the next 90 days.

1. Per week I will spend 3 hours working on business opportunities. I will make this flexible in that if I come up with an idea for a business it will count as ½ hour of time. The goal here is really to spend 30 minutes a day for 6 days out of the week. I want to come up with a list of things to pursue and spend time pursuing them.
2. Per week I will spend 3 hours looking at companies to invest in. That's right people the stock market. I am going to get an Ameritrade account and subscriptions to the wall street journal and USA today. I am going to spend time researching companies for a while and eventually get in the trading game.
3. Finally I will have 3 boxes set aside in my house to place money in everyday. 1-saving, 2-investing, 3-charity. I am planning the same amount in each box every day for 90 days. At the end of those 90 days I will place the savings in an actual savings account, invest the money saved for investing, and go out and give to charity out of the charity box. It will not be a big amount to start out with but the point here is to change my thinking on what I am doing with my money.

I have attached a sample tracker when I start on 9/6/10. The word multiplier means the number of times I put my "X" amount of money in. The amount (which will be the same) is not critical at this point. The action of doing this every day is!!!

This Journey will start 9/6/10 and Judgment day will be 12/5/10. The reason for starting on 9/6 and not today is because I will need to get my subscriptions coming, get the Ameritrade account, and prepare myself mentally for this new effort.

ONWARD PEOPLE ONWARD!

8/24/2010 – 57 Total Pounds Lost.

Back from vacation. It was a much needed escape. I rested on the beach, had tons of fun with my kids and family, and created some pretty good memories. I had one blow-up though… I yelled at the wife because she snuck away and bought some things for the step daughter. We were TONS of money over budget and going deeper and deeper... Most of the time she sees my money as ours and hers as hers – I know this is typical but we were running through money like Niagara Falls runs through water!!! I apologized. Now we have to recover from the sand infested in EVERYTHING, smoke filled cloths from the camp fires, and a really small bottom line on the budget sheet. We took tons of pictures and video. I am going to put together a family vacation movie for the family it will be amazing. I will share some of my photos with all my blog people - but it will be a few days. As a side note, I started noticing a lot of staring while I was there. I had on muscle shirts and for the first time in a log time I was being watched – the world noticed my goals too!
Now to get down to business! After reaching my goal of 55 pounds lost I now have to set a few new goals. One that comes to mind right away is maintaining a 4 pound window around my goal weight 188-192. Another goal is setting a financial strategy for retirement. And the final goal will be to continue growing the strength of my family.
The next three months should be very interesting as well. Stay tuned – should be a fun ride.

Headed Out.

Headed out for the vacation.
I hope all of you have a great weekend and I will be back to talk again Tuesday.
Wish me luck and thanks again for tuning into my life.
Peace.

A New Life Indeed. Harmony!

There is a Press Conference scheduled for 8:00pm Central Time. Tune in then for the latest breaking news.

8/18/2010 – 54 Pounds Lost – 1 Pound to Go – 3 Days Left

In a word... One…

ONE!

8/17/2010 – 53 Pounds Lost – 2 Pounds to Go – 4 Days Left

I usually do not write this much – but today I have some things I must get out! I do believe that Friday morning when I weigh myself I will be at 190. This dream of mine is about to be reality. It has been one very hard road but I am finally here. Someone said to me recently, "Wow you did this in such a short period of time". I said to that person, "Hold on a second. If there was some miracle pill you could take and only have to workout one time a month then yes three months would be a short period of time. But for me, I woke up every morning and rededicated myself to this effort and my goals. EVERYDAY. That is extremely difficult to do and it has been a long road for me" (FYI, she agreed and took her original statement back and added a sincere apology).


If you take a look at the timing of it all – I will reach my goal one day before judgment day. That fact is actually interesting because I will not be weighing myself on judgment day. Judgment day I will be on a beach enjoying my vacation with my family. When I set my goal date of 8/21/10 I had no idea that I would be on vacation on that very day. It is funny how life works out sometimes because it is almost as if it was a cosmic alignment of fate for me to reach my goals on the very day I will be on vacation on a beach with my wife and kids. I won! I don’t need to actually weigh myself on that day and have to worry about my weight because I have already won. The icing on the cake is that I actually got down to the weight I wanted to get to.


I do have a new life and I feel like a completely different person.


Case in Point:
I was at best buy yesterday checking my wife's computer into the geek squad. She and the daughters downloaded a virus that fried her lap top. The geek told me that the virus is an extremely common one downloaded from facebook. If you have read my blog you will know that I believe facebook is the devil (thanks for the quote Kathy Bates). I have been saying over and over again facebook has no real purpose but to keep people from the past in your life and waste your time. I digress… So the geek was telling me some other things that are wrong with it. They will need to send it out for repair as well as charge me 200 bucks to remove the virus and reinstall my operating system. On top of all that I had the three youngest kids with me. They all were on some sort of sugar rush being very demanding while I was in line and while I was speaking with the geek. So right before we were done he said to me, "I can't believe how well you are handling all this. I have seen so many people in your position dealing with kids and horrible news about their computer and they get red in the face and begin yelling and being rude with us." Most likely that would have been me 4 months ago but now I see a bigger picture with life. My energy needs to go to positive causes and building a long fruitful life for me and my family. I do not have the time, energy, or emotions to waste on geek-squad folks. Who by the way, have nothing to do with why I am in front of them at that particular point in time. I do feel different. My actions show it.


I have had two signature lines in my e-mails over the past few years. One is from a movie and the other is an original saying that I authored.


1st – "There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path"
– Laurence Fishburne, the Matrix.


2nd – "If you have the desire to change your thinking followed by the motivation to act achieving is inevitable"
– misunderstood and admired.


For the first quote, I honestly believe there are billions of people walking the earth who think they know what life is about and are very good at telling other people what they should/need to do. However, walking that path is rarely seen. Some start down the right path but don’t remain on it for long. It boils down to actions - not talk.


For the second quote – I was sitting in my bed on Sunday 5-2-2010 and I realized that my life was going nowhere fast. I had a couple choices; one, get away from my wife and family so they can have a chance to grow and prosper in life or two, make a change. Make several changes actually. I chose the latter. As I sat in my bed looking up at the ceiling I had no idea how I was going to make all the changes I wanted to make. Lose weight, stop eating fast food, slow down on drinking, repair my marriage, and fix the family dynamics that were tearing my family apart. This was a huge undertaking and the weight of it all seemed unbearable and unrealistic. My thoughts soon turned motivational. I understood that the mind is a powerful tool and I needed to use it for positive growth. I said to myself that I do really desire to make these changes. I really didn't have a choice. I was failing and soon would not be able to repair what I was destroying. I also knew that I have been extremely motivated in the past – my degree from the University of Michigan is a perfect example. I dropped out twice and still managed to pull myself up and get my Engineering Degree from a very prestigious engineering school. It dawned on me that as long as you have those two things working for you – Achieving… Just… Happens!!!

8/16/2010 – 52 Pounds Lost – 3 Pounds to Go – 5 Days Left

After this long weird weekend with my eating one pound gained is about where I thought it would be. Really – I have been drinking a ton of water but have not been working out so maybe it is the water. At any rate – my after work out weight today was 190 so I think it is feasible that by Friday morning I will be right at 190. That would be amazing - especially considering that my family camping vacation start Friday afternoon. Knowing that I reached my goals while on vacation would be a great feeling. This week will be a great week!ONWARD!!!