So what is this name "Misunderstood-and-admired" all about anyway? I thought by now I would have discussed this in one of my posts. Maybe it is because no one has asked about it but I think it is truly because I was just not ready. You see this name is very important to who I am and how I operate out in the world.
Most people who come into contact with me leave with different opinions about me. I don't believe I interact with any two people the same. However, I know that I am a genuine person and I am that person inside and out. You see everyone is so uniquely different that I feel it is impossible to treat everyone the same way. I interact with folks differently because I have so much inside of me that can relate to everyone out there. To learn the most about any one person that comes into contact with me I have to make them feel like I know where they are coming from or else I will NOT get a genuine response from that person. I have learned a great deal about life interacting with the people I meet. Having said all that; I am not a social person, I do not have a ton of friends, I don't hang out all the time, and I don't enjoy crowds where I am expected to talk to everyone there. This is why I am misunderstood because, who in the world loves to learn from people and lives for those experiences but is not a social person. Who loves to laugh and joke with a bunch of folks but does not like crowds (like tailgating) where the expectation is to talk to everyone.
You see I have always been misunderstood in life because people want to put everyone in a box and label them. I fit no molds. I can't tell you how many times people are shocked when I tell them I am a father of 4 (3 adore me and 1… well… still working on that...) . People just can’t accept the fact that someone at times can seem so driven, cold, hard, angry, and frustrated but has kids that just adore him. They are equally shocked when I tell people I work as an engineer (I am decent one by the way). They just can't understand how a person so passionate, caring, unique, and artistic could be an engineer. My mother still to this day gives me this look of "you are messing up" which I have seen so many times in my life. She still cannot accept that I am just not like anyone else living and do things differently than most people.
For all the reasons I listed above (and others) – driven, cold, hard, angry, frustrated, passionate, caring, unique, dependable, and artistic I am admired because I have these qualities. What you must understand here is that every trait I listed is not admired by everyone. Certain traits are beloved by some but when they see the other traits they are confused and misunderstand who I really am. I am admired for my commitment to my responsibilities and keeping my word. Here is something I say to myself all the time and I live by it, "Do everything possible to do what you say you are going to do. And, if you don’t then hold yourself accountable AS SOON AS POSSIBLE and try to make up for it". But, when I hold other people to that same axiom they often get offended, angry, and lash out. They just can't understand why I would put them on the spot like that. People just don't walk around putting others on the spot. I hold myself accountable to the same standard that I hold other people to and for that I rub people the wrong way a lot.
So how can I be misunderstood and admired all at the same time… what has been expressed to me the most is that people admire my dedication, passion, and caring but misunderstood for those same reasons – OVER THE TOP is a comment I frequently get. It's a hard life and I often get weary. On occasion I have to take a couple days off from interacting with folks to get my metal strength back. I have been told all along that I need to change things about me but at this point in life I am who I am and that is all there is to it. If you can take something away from anything I have said then I have done what I set out to do. Everyone can be a positive force in this world. My heart aches when I hear of destruction and death around the world. Someone who I admire and had the same conflict in his life (being misunderstood and admired) once said, "If you can't find something to live for then you best' find something to die for". What I took from this is that if you can't find something to live for or some positive cause to die for, then inside you are already dead. Just take a look around – you don't have to look far to see what kind of destruction people are capable of when they are dead inside.
Inside all of us there is an energy that can be either positive or negative. What's your energy? What is the energy of the people you associate with? What kind of energy are you giving off and receiving?
Energy is a force that can build and destroy – choose to build a stronger, positive world for you and those who may come after.