Weight Loss Tracker

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Before and After

I usually don't post on the weekends (I posted this same post late Friday Night) so here are my pics...

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Thursday, October 21, 2010

BACK AT IT!!! 192 Within WW - Matter over Mind

Matter over Mind.
That is the topic today. I was so shocked to see my weight at 192. I am ashamed to say all the bad things I have shoved down my pie hole the past couple weeks. YES – pizza rolls from pizza hut were one of the things. So many times we say mind over matter. We say the mind can concur the body if you really try. Well I would like to give the body some credit here. My mind has been a bit weak recently and my body has held up its side of the deal. My body found a way to keep the metabolism strong, breath strong (working out was not that difficult this morning), and tone strong. Big ups to my body for keeping things together while my mind was off vacationing somewhere!!!
So, 192, really that means you guys will see me (pictures) very soon. It is even possible you will see me tomorrow but certainly some time next week.
ONWARD – hail to the body – ONWARD!!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wednesday – No workout

Hard to say that right now… Reason being I got up at 4:30am, ate breakfast, got my workout cloths on, put my water bottles together, started going through my list… There were some items that were missing and that’s all I am going to say about that right now. I was angry and decided to go back to bed for a little while. Just when I thought I was ready to get started this happens. Well to be honest I don’t have that feeling of "just forget it all then" rather I am irritated that I always seem to have EXTRA hurdles in my life. I never understood why I have been so lucky to get other peoples share of them as well - but I guess that is my path. Tomorrow I will get back on the horse and try it again. I took in my lunch to work today so my eating is getting off on the right foot at least. Not a complete failure of a start but routinely irritating I must say…

Not feeling funny - I will post two links next week!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Monday – Wednesday – Friday

These will be my workout days so I will actually start getting back into the gym tomorrow. I got a ton of sleep last night and feel pretty good. I have been spending a good amount of time working on my design for my invention so I feel good about that too. The thing I need to focus on right now is working out and eating right. Time to stop talking about it…

Monday, October 18, 2010

I continue to learn about myself…

Tomorrow is the day that I will get my butt back into gear and start dealing with my eating habits. Also I am going to workout tomorrow and Thursday. My goal here is to start off working out three day a week and get into a groove I can maintain.

All of the different blogs that I follow and all the posts that I have read over the past two weeks have been insightful. I took time away from my blog to really get a sense for what eating and maintaining really means. People were fired up about posting greasy food, wanting comfort food, and feeling stuck. Well I believe everyone has their own unique problems and unique way of handling them. One thing we have to be careful about is letting others opinions and negative energy affect our opinions and our energy.

There are so many things I still need to accomplish in life and if I cannot get this weight thing stabilized I fear it will get in the way of my focus on other things. If I don’t have a clear focus on something chances are it will not get done. This I know about myself. I need to dedicate myself and have a clear focus on big goals.

One last thing – I will be posting my before and after pictures once I get back down to my goal weight of 190 pounds. I do not know where I am at right now but I would guess I am around 197/198 right now. Tomorrow morning I will report out how far I have to go to get back down to 190. It should be interesting this next couple weeks - at least you all have a countdown now and are not left open ended.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Today is the day – My Before and After Pictures – See below.

I saw this picture of the sun and it spoke to me a bit. There are so many things to be happy about. I need to relax a bit, let my mind go, and see the beauty of life!!!

Here are my Before and After pictures…

O.K. so you all must have forgot this was Funny Link Wednesday…

Monday, October 11, 2010

This tailgate was one to forget

This weekend was not what I wanted it to be. A lot of people get senselessly caught up in the back and forth about their schools. For me it goes way beyond what happens on the field or court. I must admit it is tough watching our football and basketball programs struggle like they are. This is not what I remember when I was a student and in school. This must really suck for the students these days.

For me Saturday was just a bad day all around. From the time I got to the tailgate at about 7:30am until I left at 10:00pm nothing was right and every second seemed to bring another stressful thing. I could go on and on about what happened but in a nutshell the group I have been tailgating with for the past 4 years – specifically two guys – showed their true colors to me Saturday in shocking form. I go to the tailgate to get away from my life and the stress it brings but they brought that stress to the tailgate and I honestly don't think things will ever be the same again. It bothers me more that I can express because a phase in my life may be coming to an end and I don’t know what comes next. Tailgating won't be the same anymore and that hurts. Not sure if I will be going anymore.

They say nothing lasts for ever - O.K. that is stating the obvious - but I do believe that good things never last as long as you would like them to. The challenge is how do we reinvent ourselves when certain periods in our life come to an end. What's Next – I guess. For me I don’t know if tailgating has come to an – it certainly might soon. Saturday let me know that this period will not last as long as I wanted it to and regardless if it is over now or after this year or after next year – there is a change coming. Don’t know when or how but the process has started. Its unfortunate – I wanted this feeling to last longer – I will have to find a way to reinvent the tailgate somehow…

Friday, October 8, 2010

NO Workout - No Weigh in

Feeling sort of Bla Bla today. No Workout as I don't know where I am weight wise right now. The weekend should be fun. Big game Mich vs Mich State. Should be a good game. GO BLUE!!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

NO workout – No Weigh in

I was all set to go workout this morning and managed to let the "I don’t wannas" get the best of me this morning. One day of rest is still good. I will get my but to the gym tomorrow morning. After all I do have tailgating this weekend.
I would like to report out to everyone that the wife and I had an awesome heart to heart last night. I left the conversation with more optimism than EVER in the past. She is starting to understand where she is coming up short and has committed to work hard on us. I have never heard her talk like that maybe ever. I was able to open my eyes a bit bigger and tell her some things that I realized…

- My focus on us was way over the top and I needed to dial it down a bit.

- I could not make her 100% happy my role is 50-75% she needs her own things and own time to get to 100%

- The "past" was bothering me more than I realized and need to work on letting it stay there

- She has a natural flirty personality and this bothered me more than I realized

After our talk she took responsibility for everything I mentioned that was bothering me and said we will make it through all this. I have a great outlook on the two of us right now and my focus is going to be heavily on me and gaining the financial stability I need right now. My weight is great right now. At some point I will get my focus back on the WW but I will not stop tracking it. I want to keep my current weight right there in front of my eyes.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

194 – Outside WW

194 – I have no idea what that means. I am up one pound from yesterday. The only place I really feel it is in my stomach area. I know that my food intake is causing the fluctuations so I will not dwell on that any longer. Yoda, who is in one of my pictures on my blog, said "You do or you do not there is no try " so on that note I will not talk about food control again until I get to the point where I am at "Do" because right now I am "Do Not".
I had a conversation with the wife Sunday, which sparked my Monday Blog post, and now it appears that as the days go by she is doing little things. Taking baby steps is better than nothing so I am grateful. I think the problem is that all of my focus was put on her and us during our separated time period and during the first few months of trying to repair things – so I have not been able to get out of that all out focus on her and us. I absolutely need to for my sanity. I placed other things in my life and need to focus more on them but it is so hard. I feel our relationship is so fragile that if I take my focus off of it, things will go downhill. It is probably not this way but my mind keeps it there. If things continue to progress as they are, it will make it easier to take my focus off of us a little.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

193 – Outside WW

So I made it to the gym this morning. I love how I feel after working out. What a feeling. However, I never had such a battle inside of me like I did over the past 5 hours. Even before the alarm went off at 4:45 I was already telling myself I was not getting up to go work out. At 3:30 I woke up and really did not go back to sleep after that. In the end I fought off all the I don’t wannas and feeling sorry for myself and made it in. The workout was difficult. I took some days off from working out so it was hard to pick right back up where I left off. I do not take a step back when I take some time off. I always keep my reps, weight, and times exactly where I was the last time. If forces me to realize that I have lost a step and need to have consistency.

I was surprised to see the scale at 193 today. I was sure I was around 196 or 197 considering all the late night eating and drinks I have had over the past week of rest. I guess it will take more than a week of feeling sorry for myself to self destruct. I don’t know what the next few weeks will hold. All I know is that I need to focus on the big picture and fix what is wrong with my eating habits, self happiness (different from self esteem I think I have plenty of that), and financial spending/saving habits.

I would like to wish Patrick sustained energy on his journey – you continue to be an inspiration with your day to day activities, Rapunzel the strength to get through a few more days at which point things will come natural, and Dawn energy for getting over some life issues and feeling a bit worn the past week. ONWARD PEOPLE!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Day six of rest

Now in my sixth day. I believe i will get back to workouts tomorrow morning. The weekend was a lazy one. Truly lazy. I went three/four months 4:45am to 12:00 midnight 5/6 days a week to get where I am today. I know I cannot keep that up. I want to find a comfort zone with family and workouts. Wish me luck and support people - the next couple weeks will be critical for me.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Day three of my rest

I am now in my day three of my rest. I would guess that I am about 195/6 right now. It is good that there is no tailgating this weekend – that will certainly help. I will avoid the 1000 fat grams and 30,000 calories from one single tailgate. I am in a bit of a rut right now and I have very little desire or motivation at this point to stay focused on my weight and eating. I believe there is more going on here.
I started writing about what I thought was bothering me and before I knew it I was two full pages into it… Long story short – my step daughter and my place in my wife's hierarchy of importance is causing me pain and stress right now. There seems to be a direct correlation between my happiness and what is going on with my wife and step daughter. Don't get me wrong – things are better than they have maybe ever been with my wife – but I continue to struggle with my place in her life. I am last on her list – right wrong or indifferent that is just the way it is. It does not help that we do not have stress free time hanging out just the two of us. This REALLY bothers me.
If I don’t find something to take my mind off of her a bit I am going to drive myself crazy. I thought that would be my business inventions, stocks, poker, and fitness but here I am… now in a rut.
I blogged to dawn recently that solutions are important not focusing on the problems. I truly believe this and solutions to this problem have not surfaced. Finding solutions continue to cause stress for me. Solutions – I guess I need to think a little harder.