194 – I have no idea what that means. I am up one pound from yesterday. The only place I really feel it is in my stomach area. I know that my food intake is causing the fluctuations so I will not dwell on that any longer. Yoda, who is in one of my pictures on my blog, said "You do or you do not there is no try " so on that note I will not talk about food control again until I get to the point where I am at "Do" because right now I am "Do Not".
I had a conversation with the wife Sunday, which sparked my Monday Blog post, and now it appears that as the days go by she is doing little things. Taking baby steps is better than nothing so I am grateful. I think the problem is that all of my focus was put on her and us during our separated time period and during the first few months of trying to repair things – so I have not been able to get out of that all out focus on her and us. I absolutely need to for my sanity. I placed other things in my life and need to focus more on them but it is so hard. I feel our relationship is so fragile that if I take my focus off of it, things will go downhill. It is probably not this way but my mind keeps it there. If things continue to progress as they are, it will make it easier to take my focus off of us a little.