The Good – The Bad – and the Beautiful

The Good;
I have been focusing on the task at hand come Monday morning. It will not be easy I know this. It will take a different level of commitment to keep the weight and put in the time researching and developing my dreams. It is constantly on my mind so I know I will be just fine come Monday morning.

The Bad;
Since I reached my goals I have really pulled back on the throttle as it pertains to my workouts and eating habits. I have been snaking a lot and I am worried once I get my butt back on the scale Monday morning. I am eating really unhealthy things. I think I am splurging a bit as a reward but it has gone out of control at this point. I will need to stop the bleeding now. I can't wait until Monday to get my focus back. I also drank a bit over the past week and this has added to my snacking and laziness with trying to get up at 5:00am to go workout. Time to refocus a bit and make sure I get my butt to the gym Tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday.

The Beautiful;
I almost passed out in my kitchen yesterday around 5:55pm. The wife came home with a couple groceries and started to put them away. I noticed something sparkling as she was putting the groceries away… I grabbed her arm and low and behold the wedding ring is back on her finger. I almost passed out. I asked her when she put it back on and she said, "This morning". It sure did not take me long to see it and I honestly have NOT been looking at her hand for the past year of my life. At that moment I felt amazing but troubled all at the same time. You see, I tossed my ring out on the interstate when I was headed to the storage unit to pack away the last of my things. It was only suppose to be a temporary ring so I only spent 400 bucks on it. Even still, I sure wish I had it to be able to put on at that very moment. When I tossed it I felt there was no way she would ever be back in my life like that and I wanted nothing to do with that type of memory. I told her, about me tossing the ring, a couple weeks ago and she had a look of sorrow on her face. I told her that the whole situation crushed me and I wanted nothing to do with those memories. I guess I am on the hook now to get another one – huh?

The week in limbo...

So this is the week I am preparing myself for the next 90 days of my journey. I have subscribed to the wall street journal and started up my E-Trade account. That is all I need at this point in time (no USA today paper).
I let the, I don’t wannas, get to me this morning and did not get up at 5:00am to work out (re set the alarm). I will be stronger the rest of this week (positive thinking).
So I was tagged and here are my answers…


1. What is the biggest change you've made that's helped you succeed in your weight loss efforts?
Positive thinking along with slowing way down on drinking alcohol. Drinking opened the door to late night snaking and laziness in the mornings which would make it hard to go workout at 5:00am.

2. What's your toughest temptation?
Fast Food – the hardest was Pizza Rolls from Pizza Hut.

3. What program are you following? (WW, South Beach, etc)
The program called "your mind". It is the most powerful supercomputer ever created.

4. Who has been your biggest fan and supporter?
Patrick and Rapunzel who buy the way don’t know my name or really anything about my actual self. As time goes by though I do believe they are starting to know me pretty well.

5. Any naysayers who've attempted to sabotage your efforts?
One blogger and if you are reading you know who you are. Other than that no one from the Blog world or at home was into sabotage. No support I think is different than actual sabotage.

6. Do you have a favorite "legal" food that helps keep you on track?
The cereal - Raisin Bran Crunch!!!

7. How do you see your life changing once you reach goal?
Now that I have reached my goal – It is changing because I am bringing that determination and drive to preparing for my financial security and family stability.

8. What's your dream outfit once you get to goal? You know we all have one! :)
It's really simple – wearing only swim trunks at beaches and water parks and loving the way I feel!

59 Total Pounds Lost – WOW.

Needless to say I was extremely surprised to see the scale read out at 186 before my workout this morning. Here is why I was surprised;

1. I have not worked out since Last Thursday
2. I had lots of fried food on my vacation, smores at campfire time, Fudge, One and I repeat only ONE Big Mac from McDonalds, and for my final reward for reaching my goals… PIZZA ROLLS FROM PIZZA HUT. Everything was a bit of a letdown except of course the PIZZA ROLLS FROM PIZZA HUT!!!
3. Every night I had a late night snack for the past 6 days.

So again I was shocked and had to calibrate the scale with an 85 pound weight. Yup it weighed 85. WOW.
So considering this I am going to change my sustained weight target window to 185-190.
So what's next for Misunderstoodandadmired…? Well here is the next 90 day Journey that I will embark upon soon. I will have three main goals that I will track over the next 90 days.

1. Per week I will spend 3 hours working on business opportunities. I will make this flexible in that if I come up with an idea for a business it will count as ½ hour of time. The goal here is really to spend 30 minutes a day for 6 days out of the week. I want to come up with a list of things to pursue and spend time pursuing them.
2. Per week I will spend 3 hours looking at companies to invest in. That's right people the stock market. I am going to get an Ameritrade account and subscriptions to the wall street journal and USA today. I am going to spend time researching companies for a while and eventually get in the trading game.
3. Finally I will have 3 boxes set aside in my house to place money in everyday. 1-saving, 2-investing, 3-charity. I am planning the same amount in each box every day for 90 days. At the end of those 90 days I will place the savings in an actual savings account, invest the money saved for investing, and go out and give to charity out of the charity box. It will not be a big amount to start out with but the point here is to change my thinking on what I am doing with my money.

I have attached a sample tracker when I start on 9/6/10. The word multiplier means the number of times I put my "X" amount of money in. The amount (which will be the same) is not critical at this point. The action of doing this every day is!!!

This Journey will start 9/6/10 and Judgment day will be 12/5/10. The reason for starting on 9/6 and not today is because I will need to get my subscriptions coming, get the Ameritrade account, and prepare myself mentally for this new effort.

ONWARD PEOPLE ONWARD!

8/24/2010 – 57 Total Pounds Lost.

Back from vacation. It was a much needed escape. I rested on the beach, had tons of fun with my kids and family, and created some pretty good memories. I had one blow-up though… I yelled at the wife because she snuck away and bought some things for the step daughter. We were TONS of money over budget and going deeper and deeper... Most of the time she sees my money as ours and hers as hers – I know this is typical but we were running through money like Niagara Falls runs through water!!! I apologized. Now we have to recover from the sand infested in EVERYTHING, smoke filled cloths from the camp fires, and a really small bottom line on the budget sheet. We took tons of pictures and video. I am going to put together a family vacation movie for the family it will be amazing. I will share some of my photos with all my blog people - but it will be a few days. As a side note, I started noticing a lot of staring while I was there. I had on muscle shirts and for the first time in a log time I was being watched – the world noticed my goals too!
Now to get down to business! After reaching my goal of 55 pounds lost I now have to set a few new goals. One that comes to mind right away is maintaining a 4 pound window around my goal weight 188-192. Another goal is setting a financial strategy for retirement. And the final goal will be to continue growing the strength of my family.
The next three months should be very interesting as well. Stay tuned – should be a fun ride.

Headed Out.

Headed out for the vacation.
I hope all of you have a great weekend and I will be back to talk again Tuesday.
Wish me luck and thanks again for tuning into my life.
Peace.

A New Life Indeed. Harmony!

There is a Press Conference scheduled for 8:00pm Central Time. Tune in then for the latest breaking news.

8/18/2010 – 54 Pounds Lost – 1 Pound to Go – 3 Days Left

In a word... One…

ONE!

8/17/2010 – 53 Pounds Lost – 2 Pounds to Go – 4 Days Left

I usually do not write this much – but today I have some things I must get out! I do believe that Friday morning when I weigh myself I will be at 190. This dream of mine is about to be reality. It has been one very hard road but I am finally here. Someone said to me recently, "Wow you did this in such a short period of time". I said to that person, "Hold on a second. If there was some miracle pill you could take and only have to workout one time a month then yes three months would be a short period of time. But for me, I woke up every morning and rededicated myself to this effort and my goals. EVERYDAY. That is extremely difficult to do and it has been a long road for me" (FYI, she agreed and took her original statement back and added a sincere apology).


If you take a look at the timing of it all – I will reach my goal one day before judgment day. That fact is actually interesting because I will not be weighing myself on judgment day. Judgment day I will be on a beach enjoying my vacation with my family. When I set my goal date of 8/21/10 I had no idea that I would be on vacation on that very day. It is funny how life works out sometimes because it is almost as if it was a cosmic alignment of fate for me to reach my goals on the very day I will be on vacation on a beach with my wife and kids. I won! I don’t need to actually weigh myself on that day and have to worry about my weight because I have already won. The icing on the cake is that I actually got down to the weight I wanted to get to.


I do have a new life and I feel like a completely different person.


Case in Point:
I was at best buy yesterday checking my wife's computer into the geek squad. She and the daughters downloaded a virus that fried her lap top. The geek told me that the virus is an extremely common one downloaded from facebook. If you have read my blog you will know that I believe facebook is the devil (thanks for the quote Kathy Bates). I have been saying over and over again facebook has no real purpose but to keep people from the past in your life and waste your time. I digress… So the geek was telling me some other things that are wrong with it. They will need to send it out for repair as well as charge me 200 bucks to remove the virus and reinstall my operating system. On top of all that I had the three youngest kids with me. They all were on some sort of sugar rush being very demanding while I was in line and while I was speaking with the geek. So right before we were done he said to me, "I can't believe how well you are handling all this. I have seen so many people in your position dealing with kids and horrible news about their computer and they get red in the face and begin yelling and being rude with us." Most likely that would have been me 4 months ago but now I see a bigger picture with life. My energy needs to go to positive causes and building a long fruitful life for me and my family. I do not have the time, energy, or emotions to waste on geek-squad folks. Who by the way, have nothing to do with why I am in front of them at that particular point in time. I do feel different. My actions show it.


I have had two signature lines in my e-mails over the past few years. One is from a movie and the other is an original saying that I authored.


1st – "There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path"
– Laurence Fishburne, the Matrix.


2nd – "If you have the desire to change your thinking followed by the motivation to act achieving is inevitable"
– misunderstood and admired.


For the first quote, I honestly believe there are billions of people walking the earth who think they know what life is about and are very good at telling other people what they should/need to do. However, walking that path is rarely seen. Some start down the right path but don’t remain on it for long. It boils down to actions - not talk.


For the second quote – I was sitting in my bed on Sunday 5-2-2010 and I realized that my life was going nowhere fast. I had a couple choices; one, get away from my wife and family so they can have a chance to grow and prosper in life or two, make a change. Make several changes actually. I chose the latter. As I sat in my bed looking up at the ceiling I had no idea how I was going to make all the changes I wanted to make. Lose weight, stop eating fast food, slow down on drinking, repair my marriage, and fix the family dynamics that were tearing my family apart. This was a huge undertaking and the weight of it all seemed unbearable and unrealistic. My thoughts soon turned motivational. I understood that the mind is a powerful tool and I needed to use it for positive growth. I said to myself that I do really desire to make these changes. I really didn't have a choice. I was failing and soon would not be able to repair what I was destroying. I also knew that I have been extremely motivated in the past – my degree from the University of Michigan is a perfect example. I dropped out twice and still managed to pull myself up and get my Engineering Degree from a very prestigious engineering school. It dawned on me that as long as you have those two things working for you – Achieving… Just… Happens!!!

8/16/2010 – 52 Pounds Lost – 3 Pounds to Go – 5 Days Left

After this long weird weekend with my eating one pound gained is about where I thought it would be. Really – I have been drinking a ton of water but have not been working out so maybe it is the water. At any rate – my after work out weight today was 190 so I think it is feasible that by Friday morning I will be right at 190. That would be amazing - especially considering that my family camping vacation start Friday afternoon. Knowing that I reached my goals while on vacation would be a great feeling. This week will be a great week!ONWARD!!!

8/15/2010 – 6 Days Left

At lunch again – last day of my seminar. My food is snacking on trial/chex mixes with turkey sandwich and chicken Caesar wraps. I use light wheat bread, zero fat tortillas, and zero fat Caesar dressing. You cannot really taste any difference with the bread and tortillas – it's great. The Caesar dressing however is a different story – its ok but certainly not the real thing. Its strange not weighting myself for so long but as you know I do not have a scale. Tomorrow morning will be interesting.
ONWARD!

8/14/2010 – 7 Days Left

Conference - Day two. Lots and lots of info being shoved my way. I am on the brink of overload and think I would have already if I had not done the study material before hand. Good feeling right now…

8/13/2010 – 8 Days Left

At lunch break here at the seminar. Good so far. They are building the base for why we really want what we came there for. The rest I am guessing is building the how. More to come.

8/12/2010 – 53 Pounds Lost – 2 Pounds to Go – 9 Days Left

TWO POUNDS TO GO… I am truly amazed. My daughter made some double chocolate chip cookies last night and I just could not resist them. I ate THREE. PLUS, I had a bowl of cereal at 9:00pm at night with one of those cookies. Wow I just might make my original goal without starving myself to get there. One thing I must say is that this morning my after workout weight was 189 yes that’s right 189!!! But as I have said before I cannot take this measurement as my official weight so I have not reached my goal. That being said – I still stood there on the scale and just stared at the little needle at 189… I may have been there for 30 seconds 45 seconds – just staring. It is amazing the transformation my body and mind has gone through. I am so proud of myself!!!
Tomorrow begins the new life as far as my financial and time freedom I seek in my life. I begin my three day seminar and have done all the studying they required me to do to prepare. I feel ready. I'm ready for anything in my path these days.
I was feeling tired into the late evening and found myself on the couch watching the 2010 world series of poker. I am feeling the fatigue of the week with work and working out. What was interesting was that I think my wife could sense it and came over and gave me a kiss and asked if I needed anything. I said no and then asked her if she needed me to do anything for her or the house before I went to bed. She said, "stay in front of that TV and watch poker – that’s all I want you to do". She is making me happy these days and I think we will be a power couple in no time!!! I am soooo happy about where everything is at in my life. I thank God for this time and giving me the will power to stick through everything!!!

8/11/2010 – 51 Pounds Lost – 4 Pounds to Go – 10 Days Left

This last 4 pounds will be a beast to shed… What I don’t want to do is starve myself and get there and then in one day pick all 4 back up again. I thought about doing that just to reach my goal in time but it will not be a sustainable 190 at that point. My end goal is a new life and a sustainable weight at 190. Most likely it will take a couple weeks but I am in it to win it. I love my workouts and the health I feel. I would recommend intense workouts to anyone who is healthy enough to do it without passing out. Start slow and work your way up to intense. Your body feels great during and after.
I have gotten myself into a groove for reviewing my study material for this weekend. I am listening to the CDs while I drive. I am really starting to look forward to this weekend.

8/10/2010 – 50 Pounds Lost – 5 Pounds to Go – 11 Days Left

Weight staying steady - 11 days to go. It is hard to believe thinking back that it has been 98 days since I started on this journey. A lot has happened since I started. Just a little over three months and it seems more like a couple. I started going through my seminar material last night for about an hour and a half. It was a good start. It seems this will be harder than I thought because deep down in my mind it seems to me this "avenue" I am going down appears to be saturated. Saturated in my vision of it – now that may change with going to the seminars but it is a bad way to start if I have this thought that it will not work. Bad way to go into this. I will work hard to keep an open mind so that’s all I will say on that one.
Family life is what it is right now. Nothing really to report here. I spent some time with my son out at an event and he loved it. It was fun spending one on one time with my boy.
ONWARD people ONWARD!

8/9/2010 – 50 Pounds Lost – 5 Pounds to Go – 12 Days Left

Monday and I really did not want to get out of bed this morning. I fought and fought and fought myself and I won (it lost). I dragged myself to the workout stop (my current one – dingy one) and for some reason it was not open and everyone was gone. Very interesting. So I had a choice to make – either say forget it or go to the other workout facility with the nice shower room. So again I fought and fought and fought myself and again I won. I ended up having a decent workout and enjoyed my shower. It always feels good after fighting yourself and not only winning but accomplishing the entire goal for that moment.I forced a conversation with the wife about us last night and it went O.K. I guess. I backed her into a corner and wanted to know where she stands with us what she is telling the world about us. I asked about her status on Facebook because currently there is no relationship information there. I asked because she knows I can see it and never wanted to put single there even though I knew that in her mind that’s where she was. She still is hesitant about making me a friend because she fears that I will tell her who she can and can't be friends with. A lot of our problems have stemmed from her past. Lots there and I will leave it at that.
All I want from her is to not hide us. Not hide the fact we are together. Not to try and hold onto some youth and being free concept. It's all or nothing right now. One family - one relationship - one marriage. I cannot do anything other than that. If after everything she has put me through and everything we have gone through together she cannot give me her all then I just can't continue on with her. It appears that she wants what I want. She says she is going to change her status of Facebook and begin to tell folks that we are married and stop saying things like I don't know or we are trying to work things out.
Facebook by the way is the worst invention of all time. The past should stay there and the ease that people have now to re-enter someone's life is just not natural and can cause so many problems. I would love if it just went away. All of it.
All in all – I am happy about where I am. I would still like to look at my wife and think – wow this woman loves me to death and would do anything for me. I just am not there yet. I hope I can get there so life can be so much easier for me. I work so hard out in the world – home is where I should go to rest – NOT continue fighting and struggling. I also have to buckle down and read my material for my seminar I am going to this weekend. I have a couple manuals to read through and I have not started yet. I will need to start tonight and get down to business.
ONWARD!!!

8/6/2010 – 51 Pounds Lost – 4 Pounds to Go – 15 Days Left

I continue to eat like a mad man and I continue to lose weight. I feel great and the pounds are coming off. I am not going to complain. I think I heard that at some point you need to eat a lot more to lose weight……. I have always heard that so I guess it is my turn now. Today I went back to the old workout facility and had an intense workout. One thing that I realized is that with all the fancy equipment and eye candy working out the only thing I missed was showering by myself. No one else in the little room - taking a shower 4 feet away from me - with no divider. My current workout spot allows me to use the equipment when I want and not have to wait to use it. There is really nobody in my current workout spot that I have to deal with it is nice. It makes you think about what you really need in life to be happy and accomplish your goals. I have all the same equipment with much less stress – it's just kind of dark and dingy there. I have dropped half of my weight there and will accomplish my end goal there. I believe there is a lesson here. I will take it to heart.
To everyone reading this and going through family stress – trust me I understand what you are going through. It's never as bad as it seems at the time and with some deep reflection and contemplation you can make the situation livable and potentially change it. Strength I wish for all!
ONWARD!

8/5/2010 – 50 Pounds Lost – 5 Pounds to Go – 16 Days Left

So – Back to 50 pounds lost. Not sure how I dropped two pounds overnight. I ate like a mad man yesterday. Raisin bran for breakfast with 2% milk, 6" tuna sub from subway 530 calories and 30g of fat with sour cream and onion baked lays water to drink. For snack in the middle of the day I had two servings of pretzels. For dinner - pork ribs with big salad two pieces of cornbread corn for veggie and water to drink. After that for snacks I had two serving of hummus and flat bread – a few handfuls of fat free croutons (just the croutons) and right before bed I ate another piece of cornbread and a bowl of cinnamon cheerios with 2% milk. WOW that’s a lot of food for one day so I am surprised I dropped two pounds overnight. I feel great. At this point it would be nice to get to 190 by 8/21 but like I said I have already won and that would be icing on the cake.
Me and the wife continue to find ways not to argue and stress about things we typically have feuded about. We are finding ways to take stress off the other person and not put any unnecessary stress in our lives. It feels good. Still no communication about us and the rings we continue not to wear but like I have said I cannot complain about what is happening. I just wish she could find a way to verbally tell me what is on her mind. I do not wish to live as boyfriend and girlfriend because I want a full all out commitment because I deserve it and need to know that she has my back for life. I am full all out committed to her and making the family work and I still feel she is not completely in the same place. I think this will work itself out at some point I believe.
ONWARD!

8/4/2010 – 48 Pounds Lost – 7 Pounds to Go – 17 Days Left

I feel the countdown to day 1 more and more each day. Right now it feels like the Tour De France where I know I have already won so I am cruzin (for the last few miles) into the finish with no possibility of losing the race. I have won. No matter how you slice this thing I have won. I just realized it while I was writing this piece. I look around and my life is completely different than that guy that had no family support. I am completely different than the guy who (in underwear only) looked overweight with absolutely no muscle definition. I am different than that guy who is blaming others (on occasion) for things I CAN control and CAN do something about. I am different than that guy who (on occasion) felt sorry for himself. I am different from that guy who was barreling forward with no regard for a healthy weight loss reduction. I want a victory party – I wonder who will throw it for me… Champaign – Music – Confetti – Drinks – Dancing – loud bangs and fireworks…

8/3/2010 – 47 Pounds Lost – 8 Pounds to Go – 18 Days Left

One pound off the books and I am not starving myself these days either. I think that if I do this right I should lose 1-2 pounds a week and that will work for me. I think I heard somewhere that 1-2 pounds a week is a healthy weight loss reduction. This will take me past my goal date but not by too much. I think I got half the title right… A new life… It sure feels that way already. I am much more relaxed now, I have a new found passion building with my wife, I have a house that will not take me into an early grave, I have new goals for time and wealth building, my weight is in a great place, and feel healthy now. I have a lot to be thankful for. Live each day… that’s what I am looking to do these days…

8/2/2010 – 46 Pounds Lost – 9 Pounds to Go – 19 Days Left

Monday morning – wow so much has happened over the past 2-1/2 weeks. I have completely moved my household, my weight is on a rollercoaster ride, and my family dynamics are improving day by day. I would say that over all I am extremely excited about where I am with my health, family, finances, and weight.My goals of getting to 190 pounds by 8/21/10 most likely will not happen. It appears my body is resisting getting down to that weight. Once I got really close it went on strike and let me know to cease and desist immediately. So I did and in a bad way - pizza, ice-cream, taco bell, plain cheese, and high content fat/calorie foods. It's interesting that I am currently still in the 190s though. With better control of the bad foods I think I can convince my body to stay at 195. I want to be at 190 and I will discuss that with a doctor soon. I had originally said this Tuesday but this won't work with my schedule this week. I will reschedule soon.
I am going to start to really focus on my personal goals from a financial and time standpoint. I have reading material to get through and a couple conferences over the next few weeks. I will continue to press forward on those fronts.
ONWARD!