6/18/2010 – 36 Pounds Lost – 19 Pounds to Go – 64 Days Left

I was shocked when I got on the scale this morning. I dropped two whole pounds. I was sure I had just maintained my weight after dropping three in one day. I guess watching the carbs and increasing time and intensity during workouts are helping. It is a wonderful feeling seeing the end in sight!!!

So the wife and I talked last night and just as I suspected every time the stress gets large she likes to point out how broken our relationship is and in a sense I think is trying to get me to walk away. The step daughter is something that will break us. I hate that it has come down to a selfish, self-centered, the universe orbits around me, little child. The wife made it clear to me that even though the other three kids have their father in the house full time and love him there is no way she moves the step daughter out – she will take away the father from three kids for one child that deserves nothing. This is my life and I just don't know how I will handle the whole situation. Walk away or stay. Stay and be disrespected and in pain most of the time. I have some big decisions to make and 64 days is a lifetime away compared to the time I have to make some life decisions… My faith in God will need to step to the forefront here and I will put it all on him. I cannot make these decisions myself. This is all bigger than me.
On top of all this my father went through major hip surgery a couple weeks ago and is still recovering slowly and my mother is going to have major foot surgery today. They live by themselves and will need people to come by and check on them and feed them. My father is not getting around well he is in a lot of pain and my mother will not be able to get around when she gets home from the surgery. I hope she goes through her surgery O.K. Lots on my mind these days.