5/25/2010 – 20 Pounds Lost – 35 Pounds to Go – 88 Days Left

½ a pound lost so I will wait to say I lost any until tomorrow. I fell into a mini depression last night as I tried to go to sleep. I sat for maybe 2-1/2 hours up in my room and I did not hear a peep from the wife who was watching T.V. downstairs and working on her side business. It got to be about 11 and I sent her a text asking was she going to be all night again and that I was going to sleep. She came up stairs and laid in the bed, chit chatted for about 5 minutes, slapped my hand twice, and rubbed one of my fingers once or twice and then passed out. I am a lucky man… I am drowning in my own sarcasm… anyway I watched the Orlando Magic win their first game in the series with Boston and could possible make it a series - we will see. As I was going to sleep the sorrow I was feeling about my marriage situation and having a wife that wants a friend not a husband, it reminded me of something I read. Bruce Willis was in a magazine (I forget which one) and I read the article. It was about how Bruce came to a point in his life where he became happy. He mentioned that the moment he started to become happy in life was when he started to make himself happy and not rely on a woman to do that for him. When I read the article I thought it was powerful but at the time was not fully able to put it into context. Now I can fully put it into context and understand that this is exactly where I am at in my life. I have dedicated myself to my family and my wife. I have gone above and beyond to do wonderful thoughtful things for my wife and in the end she could care less about having a husband. I just can't do anything more than what I am already doing. If in the end she just does not "want" me there is nothing I can do about that. Are you starting to understand my name…? Let me know when it starts to click. So I guess I will be looking to make myself happy. Don't know what that will be but I am sure by tomorrow when I blog I will have some good ideas. Tomorrow I think I will report out that I have lost 22 pounds… let's see…